Categories
Uncategorized

lets Begin Again?

Hey I am Gretta from the movie Begin Again , you might not know me but hear me out , I have a story to tell. I am a dreamer like all of you. I am also stubborn,tomboyish , smart and maybe a narcissist.I used to love a guy a lot and left everything of my own to start a new life with him. Suddenly I started feeling unwanted and used . But being the romantic fool I am , I still decided to hold on , hoping love can heal everything but when I came to know he cheated on me , my heart broke into millions of pieces. I felt like an absolute loser. I left impulsively.I tried to convince my heart to give up but it couldn’t , because after all he was the love of my life.I took all the punches I could take .I stopped praying to God coz he wont talk back . I SOLD ALL MY INTERESTS TO EMOTIONAL DIFFICULTIES. Then one day my only friend got me a gig and persuaded me to sing AGAIN. I was discovered as a talent there by Dan , a former record label producer.He was so nice to me that he seemed FAKE. It was him who told me its okay to be broken , and ITS IMPORTANT TO BEGIN AGAIN FOR LIFE IS ALWAYS WORTH IT. He believed in me and had faith in me ,He asked me to get people to the show where music does the real work. He convinced me to be authentic and didnt ask me to change .Maybe he understood me because he himself was no stranger to miseries.Yes my music did workout , yes I found myself back and this time I am confiding my issues to music.Sometimes no matter how hard you try , some things are not just meant to be.Its important to love people and value them but that shouldn’t come at the cost of losing yourself . I know , I won when a smile dawned upon me as I was cycling in the city with a new found closure .

Categories
Uncategorized

Its better to have loved and lost than not loved at all?

I dont know what exactly is wrong with me but I cant be happy until someone makes me happy. There is an overwhelming feeling of emptiness within me who keeps on telling me I am not worthy of anything. I dont know how natural is that or is it my depression or my deep rooted childhood issues . I have held on to love even when it was tiring, even when it made me feel all the more empty . I have held on to love even when it had nothing to offer me . Am I this desperate ? No .Or am I scared to be alone?Maybe yes. I cant be on my own though I know I am the best when I am alone .I know I deserve a lot of self-love but I am really not capable of it.Praying is often my coping mechanism . But how long do I have to put myself down just because I feel I dont deserve anything good?

Is it really healthy to love and lose all the best pieces of yourself ?

Or is it okay to be stone cold selfish and give all the love to only yourself?

Categories
Uncategorized

Cheers to growing a thicker skin…….

Once people know you care, they will walk all over you …………….

A major part of being an adult is learning to not care. People see the world through their eyes and their upbringings and there is nothing you can really do about it. Personally being a hypersensitive person , I can guarantee you too many people just want to get into heads just to mess up your peace of mind and honestly such people can never be your well wisher by any chance. The sooner you realize that people who trigger you are nothing but haters , the better.

The world is much like a cigarette ,it only harms you , when you light it up . . so DONT SET YOURSELF ON FIRE !

The best way to deal with toxicity in any form or shape is to NOT deal with it and life becomes really simple and easy when you learn to recognize the fine difference between toxic and benign .

Honestly lately I realized , no matter what we do , good , bad, ugly some people will always hate you , try to bring you down …or whatever….

Negativity and hatred is much like a fire burning , if you let it spread by giving attention to it , it will keep on burning you down , so its better not to challenge it or fight it . The fire will be extinguished once you stop pouring your attention fuel.

After all life is effing short to live a life too much crowded by somebody else’s opinion.

Lastly just a friendly reminder , people who try to bring you down are already goddamn below you and there are bellow you for a reason

🙂

Categories
Uncategorized

REFLECTIONS OF ABSUSIVE PARENTING

APPLE DOESNT FALL FAR FROM THE TREE AFTERALL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Treat this post as an EXPLICIT WARNING of which people you should AVOID

IF YOU FEEL OFFENSIVE ABOUT THIS POST , GO TO YOUR HOUSE AND LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND HATE YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU CANT DEFINITELY CHANGE YOUR BIRTH NEITHER CAN YOU CHANGE YOUR UPBRINGING , SO I DONT THIS ANYTHING CAN HELP !

Have you ever looked at someone and thought to yourself that how can anyone be such an asshole?

The answer is majorly their upbringing and their parents.

Children of divorced , troubled marriages often turn out to be an absolute douchbags.

I mean obviously if someone’s mom is jumping from bedding one billionaire to another billionaire she will definitely not have the time to raise a kid. Forget about raising a kid, she wont care about her kid . Eventually what will happen is her kid will turn out be a drug addict sadist.

Imagine someone’s dad coming home drunk everyday to abuse his wife , dont you think the kid will think its normal to be abusive . As a kid what he sees his father (a person’s first idol) keeps on having random affairs and returns home to torture his wife. It becomes obvious that he has a chance to following his father’s footsteps.

These people should never have kids , because all they do is poison the earth .I mean toxicity should stop breeding RIGHT?

So technically these kids are born out of mistakes , because their parents are messed up in their heads and they are busy having randomass affairs and poisoning the world and THEY BARELY HAVE ANY TIME TO RAISE KIDS.

What happens to the kids is that they believe BEING AN ABUSIVE ASSHOLE is normal !

Since they are never in good terms with their parents , they have nothing to lose , no one to love !

They start believing being a sadistic asshole is NORMAL . If you look through history these kids grow up to criminals killing people in road accidents, fraudsters laundering money and even causing terror attacks !

So , all I am saying is , if by any chance you know such people , THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO IS STOP KNOWING THEM .

TAKE MY ADVICE TODAY , YOU WONT REGRET IT.!

ALWAYS REMEMBER NO APPLE FALLS FAR FROM THE TREE!

Categories
Uncategorized

Is it just a story of an “influential” wife cheater ??

Today I have decided to review one more web series . Its very close to my heart .I have no personal grievances , I am just stating my perspective on the web series . I am not pointing to anyone , but just throwing light to a different point of view to a very popular and loved web series . I repeat its just a web series that I am reviewing not anyone’s personal life .

So let me start , I am a big fan of Anuska Sharma and I have been watching and loving all of her movies . To be honest , I love her since Rab Ne Banade Jodi ❤❤. I love her journey and how she transcended and grew from a model to an actress to a successful producer being a so called outsider .

So , recently I watched this series called Pataal Lok. The story revolves around solving a attempt to murder mystery of a high profile journalist. He is considered one of the best journalists of the country . His heroic and courageous articles are definitely the best the country could ever have . In a nutshell , he is definitely one of the best in his genre of work .

But what disturbs me is his personal life and his nature. In the series , he is portrayed of having an extramarital affair with a pretty junior journalist at her office . I mean its quite natural for a young girl to be impressed by the great articles and maybe develop feelings for him , that’s what the young generation is about , dreams and fantasies right? But being a respected senior was he not supposed to guide her in the right direction ?? Sure everything was consensual but was it ETHICAL ? Isn’t he MORALLY CORRUPT AND A DISGUSTING HUMAN BEING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HIS POSITION ?

Most importantly what hurts me the most , is that his wife is a sweet lady . She is an embodiment of purity and love . She is pure from her heart and blindly in love with her husband . She has anxiety issues and their physical relationship are not quite great but does she deserve to be DECEIVED BY A MORALLY AND ETHICALLY TAMPERED person like him ? As a woman myself , I would want to ask , DOESN’T SHE DESERVE BETTER ? DOESN’T SHE DESERVE SOMEONE WHO WONT CHEAT ON HER REGULARLY ? She is pretty , kind , loving , caring and always ready to walk an extra mile for her husband , BUT THE QUESTION IS DOES HE DESERVE HER ? When you are married to someone , you dont sleep with younger colleagues behind their back!!WOMEN DESERVE BETTER !!! SHE DESERVES BETTER ! Women are definitely not a baby making machine neither are they tissue paper to be used to clean every dirt you have been throwing around . Its India , we worship women in the form of DEVI DURGA , MAA KALI and other goddesses , how can men feel entitled to come home and deceive and torture their so called soulmates . Women deserve better ! ENTITLED AND MORALLY TAMPERED PEOPLE SHOULD BE SEEN IN THE EYE OF DISGUST BY THE SOCIETY !!! Its not a feminist’s cry its just a woman speaking up for another woman who had been wronged by another ENTITLED MAN ! The sooner society acts upon these inhuman shitheads who take advantage of their positions to do whatever the hell they want , the better , cleaner and SAFER the country would be . Such men are so much psychologically messed up that they have started considering themselves GOD , while they have forgotten that there is no GOD if people dont worship them !! If the society has given them respect for their work , they can also hate him for MENTALLY TORTURING HIS INNOCENT WIFE FOR MONTHS DESPITE BEING FULLY AWARE THAT SHE IS PURE AND BLINDLY IN LOVE WITH HIM ! Why is everyone so scared of people who themselves are morally tampered ?

Lastly please dont take anything personally once again , its just me reviewing a series , nothing more , nothing less. All I want to say is the definition of being wrong doesn’t really change !

Categories
Uncategorized

You and Me ….oh sometimes Her too

Hey there , how have you been doing in this pandemic? Since I had gotten a lot of free time , I happened to watch quite a lot of web series. One such web series is You Me and Her and being a college student myself , all I would say my mind is just blown . So before I start let me tell you one thing clearly , I AM NOT SPREADING HATE , I PERSONALLY LOVE THE PLATFORM WHERE IT IS SHOWN , AND I HAD LIVED MY DAYS BEING DEPENDENT ON THEIR SHOWS .

But this web series is something different . Many of you dont knownthe storyline , so let me tell you .It revolves around an elderly couple who failed to have children and their world begins and ends with their work . Since they are now in their 40s ,they have kind of lost spark in their marriage and also in their romantic life . They have been running endlessly after money , but in the end money doesn’t buy them happiness neither does money buy them peace . Billed at television’s first “polyamorous romantic comedy,” “You Me Her” centers on a couple whose waning sex life and a sequence of surprising turns are about to take their relationship in a direction neither could have imagined. An impulsive get-together between suburban husband Jack and neophyte escort Izzy eventually spins into a whirlwind three-way affair involving Jack’s wife Emma, who holds secrets of her own.

Izzy on the other hand is a college student who had a difficult childhood and all she wants to be is independent . She works really hard and thinks about every possible way she can earn money . But little did she know , she will fall in the hands of the devils themselves .All she wanted is to be independent and have a better life for herself . This elderly couple decided to trap her in the name of romance . No college girl like Izzy would actually want to have ” a romantic ” relationship with an elderly couple . She is just being taken advantage of and most importantly she is being manipulated in the name of “ROMANCE” . Everytime she wants to run away , she is being followed and chased and she again falls in the same trap . The ending makes me cry since she doesn’t have the courage to get out of her screwd life ,and she had to take give up her career for the sake of taking care of their baby .

Whoever wrote this script and whatever platform it is being shown is honestly misleading to the core . Once again , this is my point of view as college student , you can have a complete different point of view and I respect that too .

I wonder how many youths share my point of view or are they being misguided by popular platforms and writers?

Categories
Uncategorized

Antagonism of a Pandemic

Before I start blabbering , I hope you are doing well . I wont ask you if you are in the pink of health or not because no one can really say they are living their best lives . The situation of the world is dreadful and in this situation its very easy to give in and sink in to the blackhole of despair .But , hold on we are the product of 3000 years of evolution, there has to be a better way to look at life . Lets just think about the positives of this pandemic.

I know its very difficult to look through the darkness all around but lets have some faith . Pandemic has bought us ample amount of time. I never thought I would get this free time to work on my mental health issues. Life was just too fast and I had extreme difficulties in coping up . But due to this extended holidays I have got the time I need for introspection. I found a way to let go of everything that used to hurt me and embrace uncertainty. Oblivion and uncertainty used to scare me but these days I have learnt to put my faith in them . Spending so much time with family brought us closer. The thing I always liked about trying times is that they push everyone to reveal their true nature and priorities . People who actually care for us cling to us and those who dont choose to leave . Ever had really bad days when you have got nothing to hold on? You will realize who are your true friends and its really hurtful and same time liberating to know the true nature of your circle. Smart people can never really be happy but I will still choose smart . Seeing through people and understanding them is so scary .But at the same time with each person leaving you or hurting you , you realize the importance of self love. I would say its not selfish to put yourself first ever because no one can love ourselves like we can . No one can heal ourselves like we can . No one can improve ourselves like we can . HAVE THE COURAGE TO RUN AWAY FROM EVERYTHING THAT MAKE YOU FEEL MISERABLE EVERY TIME ! Take time to heal , take time to embrace the rain , it will pass and you have to be there for the rainbow which is inevitable right after the thunderstorm…..

Categories
Uncategorized

Hey, I am Diane Nguyen…

Hey , I am Diane , I moved to LA from Boston with the dream of becoming a famous published writer. Little did I know how much of a mess I am . For those who know me ,I know you guys hate me . I dont blame you at all . You have your own reasons like when Mr. PB surprised me with my dream ‘Belle room’ library, I suprised him with a divorce.May be its true I didnt deserve my sweet and loving husband , also maybe I should’nt have opted for abortion but trust me I wanted more out of life than being a mother. I often criticized the actions of Bojack, but he didnt always deserve it. I know why I didnt like Bojack now . Its not because I hated him , its because deep down I knew that I am as broken and as dysfunctional as him . I was born in a family as someone unwanted or maybe an extra. I never got any appreciation for anything I did. I have a tendency to run away from everything that makes me miserable , I justify my actions by saying that its a coping mechanism but deep down I know I fucked up. I want to be responsible and happy but somehow the reality keeps on showering thunder storms upon me . I pull myself out from a rock bottom only to realise there is yet another rock bottom awaiting me .It’s not about being happy, that is the thing. I’m just trying to get through each day. I can’t keep asking myself ‘Am I happy? ‘ It just made me more miserable. I don’t know If I believe in it, real lasting happiness, All those perky, well-adjusted people you see in movies and TV shows ? I don’t think they exist.Look, the wedding was great. But that’s not real life. I mean, I guess I got a happy ending, but every happy ending has the day after the happy ending, right?All our life we wait and pine for that one thing,a person, a job, a destination which we like to call “our happy ever after” but that’s not the end of life. It’s actually a new beginning in itself.Sometimes I think I’m a pit. I’m a pit that good things fall into. I know I ruin things but I guess thats me . I know I am miserable to not love PB . But I couldnt help, I really thought he is my happily ever after . Back then I didnt know soulmates are not meant to be perfect , soulmates are meant to be broken and dysfunctional in the same way . I never abandoned Bojack when he needed me . I had been a true friend and sent him to rehab when things got out of control. I guess I am a little narcissist but thats alright I guess.I know I am not perfect but who is ? I am happy that I met Guy and I look forward to spend my life with him in Texas ….Adios…see you !

Categories
Uncategorized

Open letter to myself on Valentine’s Day

Broken heart icon,vector illustration. EPS 10.

Here’s writing to the girl who believes love can save us from everything. She was a typical girl who have been often bullied in childhood , she was the one who always endured everything and kept most of her tears to herself because she never really wanted to bother anyone . She is always so engrossed in looking into the bright side of things that she never saw the toxicity of her ‘friends’ or ‘lovers’. Having grown up to working parents she used to cling to anyone and everyone who came along her way. She remembers being bullied by so many people , even her so called best friend .She always had difficulties in opening up to people and making friends although she dreaded being alone. She often ended up choosing the wrong people despite knowing how harmful they would be for her mental health in the upcoming years. She was not dumb to not see through the toxicity of people but she used to be with them out of unknown obligation.

Till one fine day ,she gave it all up. No hang up there, she didnt kill herself (though she wanted to), instead she let it all go and promised herself to never indulge in anything that makes her feel miserable.She realised she was still young and not taking and prompt action and sulking over the regrets of the past will jeopardize a perhaps beautiful future life could behold. She realized no one is ever really going to be responsible for her happiness. SHE IS ALL SHE HAS OR EVER WILL HAVE .Its okay to fall 7 times as long as you are not staying there.

Its not only her , everyone feel worthless every once in a while because afterall if everyone thought that they were enough ,no one would put effort in being better , no one would push themselves and try harder. People will stop having goals, fucking evolution will stop .

The goal is to just keep going most of the things we truly want are beyond our reach because they’re always the best out there. Everyone wants the best out of life. So we need to reach out to have them. ….it might or might not get better but as least you are not a coward to not hope for better days.

In the end its not always about having a valentine every year or romantic dates all the time ,its about having a purpose and have something to be proud of 🙂

Categories
Uncategorized

Journaling Day 3

My internals are starting tomorrow and also I have a heap load of assignments pending. In short, my life is a mess right now but my mind is not, thanks to writing .Writing is no longer just venting out my anguish and sadness to somewhere , it has now become my hobby and my dopamine.My days are going well otherwise. I am trying and learning to grow and glow with each passing hour. I have stopped being sorry for myself and rather accepting myself.Accepting and embracing my flaws is never easy but always worth it .Just like being sorry for yourself wont make you better ,regrets wont make your future beautiful.Happiness is a choice and it is your responsibility to choose it over everyone else. Have a purpose and believe in letting go and that is how anyone would survive this whirlpool of misery and hatred. The most important thing everyone fails to understand is no one has it all, no one , the girl who wears black lipstick isn’t living her best life,the guy who just won a hackathon does not have it all.

A little self-care and self belief goes a long way.It can pull you out from the black hole of self loathing and give you hope ,that no matter what you are and where you are ,you can be better .There is no wrong time to do the right thing and it is never too late to start again .Live your life ,follow your dreams , failures are just temporary setbacks everyone goes through.

(some of my favourite quotes I live by)

NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU FALL ,GET UP .

YOU SHOULD NEVER BE HOPELESS BECAUSE YOU CAN NEVER BE IRREPARABLY BROKEN!

SO , GET UP ,YOU LIONS AND SHAKE OFF THE DELUSION ,THAT YOU ARE SHEEP!