Hey, I am Diane Nguyen…

Hey , I am Diane , I moved to LA from Boston with the dream of becoming a famous published writer. Little did I know how much of a mess I am . For those who know me ,I know you guys hate me . I dont blame you at all . You have your own reasons like when Mr. PB surprised me with my dream ‘Belle room’ library, I suprised him with a divorce.May be its true I didnt deserve my sweet and loving husband , also maybe I should’nt have opted for abortion but trust me I wanted more out of life than being a mother. I often criticized the actions of Bojack, but he didnt always deserve it. I know why I didnt like Bojack now . Its not because I hated him , its because deep down I knew that I am as broken and as dysfunctional as him . I was born in a family as someone unwanted or maybe an extra. I never got any appreciation for anything I did. I have a tendency to run away from everything that makes me miserable , I justify my actions by saying that its a coping mechanism but deep down I know I fucked up. I want to be responsible and happy but somehow the reality keeps on showering thunder storms upon me . I pull myself out from a rock bottom only to realise there is yet another rock bottom awaiting me .It’s not about being happy, that is the thing. I’m just trying to get through each day. I can’t keep asking myself ‘Am I happy? ‘ It just made me more miserable. I don’t know If I believe in it, real lasting happiness, All those perky, well-adjusted people you see in movies and TV shows ? I don’t think they exist.Look, the wedding was great. But that’s not real life. I mean, I guess I got a happy ending, but every happy ending has the day after the happy ending, right?All our life we wait and pine for that one thing,a person, a job, a destination which we like to call “our happy ever after” but that’s not the end of life. It’s actually a new beginning in itself.Sometimes I think I’m a pit. I’m a pit that good things fall into. I know I ruin things but I guess thats me . I know I am miserable to not love PB . But I couldnt help, I really thought he is my happily ever after . Back then I didnt know soulmates are not meant to be perfect , soulmates are meant to be broken and dysfunctional in the same way . I never abandoned Bojack when he needed me . I had been a true friend and sent him to rehab when things got out of control. I guess I am a little narcissist but thats alright I guess.I know I am not perfect but who is ? I am happy that I met Guy and I look forward to spend my life with him in Texas ….Adios…see you !

Open letter to myself on Valentine’s Day

Broken heart icon,vector illustration. EPS 10.

Here’s writing to the girl who believes love can save us from everything. She was a typical girl who have been often bullied in childhood , she was the one who always endured everything and kept most of her tears to herself because she never really wanted to bother anyone . She is always so engrossed in looking into the bright side of things that she never saw the toxicity of her ‘friends’ or ‘lovers’. Having grown up to working parents she used to cling to anyone and everyone who came along her way. She remembers being bullied by so many people , even her so called best friend .She always had difficulties in opening up to people and making friends although she dreaded being alone. She often ended up choosing the wrong people despite knowing how harmful they would be for her mental health in the upcoming years. She was not dumb to not see through the toxicity of people but she used to be with them out of unknown obligation.

Till one fine day ,she gave it all up. No hang up there, she didnt kill herself (though she wanted to), instead she let it all go and promised herself to never indulge in anything that makes her feel miserable.She realised she was still young and not taking and prompt action and sulking over the regrets of the past will jeopardize a perhaps beautiful future life could behold. She realized no one is ever really going to be responsible for her happiness. SHE IS ALL SHE HAS OR EVER WILL HAVE .Its okay to fall 7 times as long as you are not staying there.

Its not only her , everyone feel worthless every once in a while because afterall if everyone thought that they were enough ,no one would put effort in being better , no one would push themselves and try harder. People will stop having goals, fucking evolution will stop .

The goal is to just keep going most of the things we truly want are beyond our reach because they’re always the best out there. Everyone wants the best out of life. So we need to reach out to have them. ….it might or might not get better but as least you are not a coward to not hope for better days.

In the end its not always about having a valentine every year or romantic dates all the time ,its about having a purpose and have something to be proud of 🙂